How Often Does A Healthy Couple Fight ?

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How Often Does A Healthy Couple Fight ?

When you’re seeing someone, and you are both hoping for any kind of a long-term relationship, you should be expecting to go through some road pumps. As life isn’t just going to be sunshine and roses. Yet, not always too much fighting is good for a healthy couple. So, when can it be just okay and when to decide that this is too much? . Well, that’s what we are going to explain in this article based on some experts advice.

Before you start panicking your relationship is doomed just on the event you had a couple of fights last week or so, understand this:  Joseph Cilona, a licensed Manhattan Psy.D., tells us that it’s completely normal for any healthy couple to have arguments with a partner. Yet the question of “How Often Does A Healthy Couple Fight?”,doesn’t have one definite answer. As every couple is unique and has their unique formula and circumstances, especially when it comes when it comes to frequency of conflict.

Furthermore, Ph.D. Ramani Durvasula, the author of Should I Stay or Should I Go?, tells us that it can actually be good to have some sort of arguments every now and then. “Fighting means you care about the relationship,” she says. “When fighting goes away completely, sometimes one or both people have checked out.”

How Often Does A Healthy Couple Fight ?

Is Not The Right Question To Ask!

Surely fighting isn’t always fun for anyone, especially at the moment you are suffering from the negative effects of such fights. That’s why the marriage and family counselor David Klow, says it ’s more important to ask about the way you and your partner make up, instead of staying in the fight ring asking how often does a healthy couple fight?. In simpler words, you and your partner have to be able to resolve your problems one at a time instead of shelving them every single time just to keep the peaceful relationship? “Couples who have more of a productive type of fights, will eventually have more intimacy, as well as longer and healthier relationship.

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It’s All About Respect

Maintaining the quality of words while arguing with your partner with, going through your hardest time in the most respectful way. This is another way towards a healthy relationship to go. So, even if you’re two in the middle of a fight and you feel like you had it with your partner, never ever use name-calling, criticizing the core of who someone is or the way they look.  Always avoid all types of insults, instead try using phrases that describe how are you feeling  like “I feel very angry” or “I feel like I’m not appreciated”

 

Signs for Having Unhealthy Fights

Cilona says there are a couple of different Signs for UnHealthy Fights:

  • If you keep bringing up some past events every time you have an argument. As healthy fights focus on the existing moment and current issue only.
  • Arguing about the same stuff over and over again with no intention to trade off or compromise for finding real solutions.
  • Also If you keep feeling upset about the way that you’re arguing, and once you are finished you keep saying I should’ve done this, I shouldn’t have done that!.

Yet, know that for keeping a healthy relationship, each person should address their feelings, whether negative or positive. Just try to choose the right time and the correct phrases in order for your words to touch your partner’s heart.

 

Fighting In A New Relationships

In a  new relationship, too much fighting is not that great of a healthy sign. Yet. it doesn’t always mean you’re the relationship is doomed. Needless to mention of course that the natural arguments we’re talking about here, are the ones that aren’t physically, emotionally, or psychologically violent. “Couples who can fight fairly and safely, even if aguing starts early in a relationship, couples can fight as long as they keep their fights fair and square. They might even have better chances of developing a healthier long-term relationship, than other violent couples.

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Bottom Line

If you feel that you and your partner are arguing a lot, it starts getting on your nerves, and the both of you can’t seem to get it right, this may be the time to seek some professional help.
However, if you are arguing every now and then, and you two are resolving most issues without shelving some for later fights, then you are mostly fine. Just keep an eye on the quality of the fights you’re having.

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